Yep, I got lazy in May and didn’t write a top three for April, so I combined the two months into one.
3. Kanye became friends with Trump. I’ve never thought highly of Kanye and I hate Trump, so when these two starting jerking each other off on Twitter, I immediately took a shower.
2. Fire at Trump Tower in NYC. It wasn’t so much that the actual fire was a dumpster fire, it was the fact that the idiot in charge tweeted “Fire at Trump Tower is out. Very confined (well built building). Firemen (and women) did a great job. THANK YOU!” See my response below:
Fire at Trump Tower is out.
No. It was not out at the time of this tweet.
Very confined (well built building).
One person died and six firefighters were injured. The statement of being a sturdy structure hardly seems important.
Firemen (and women) did a great job.
Any information put inside parenthesis is deemed as “extra information” or is an indicator that it interrupts the normal progression of a sentence. Another prime example of an utter lack of respect for women. Two other options:
Firemen and women did a great job.
Firefighters did a great job.
1. J.R. Smith in game 1 vs. the Warriors. J.R. didn’t know the score of the game at the very end of regulation and should be blamed for the Cavs’ loss. Oh and LeBronnnn Jaaaames scored 51 points. 51 POINTS AND THEY STILL LOST! The game was tied and J.R. rebounded a missed offensive free throw and instead of driving it to the hoop to go for a win—with either a field goal or fouled on the try and sent to the free throw line—he dribbled out past the three point line to run down the clock because he thought they were ahead. Again, LeBron scored 51 and they still lost.
Fuck, I have two Trump references in my top three.