TOP THREE DUMPSTER FIRES – MARCH 2018

DF-of-the-month-march2018

3. A Wrinkle in Time. Um… I saw the trailer for this and immediately thought, “nope.” I may not be the target audience, but a lot of my peers like these type of fantasy stories and I just cannot get into them. I did NOT see this movie, but I’m deeming this movie as a dumpster fire based on the Rotten Tomatoes score and conversations I’ve had with people who actually suffered through it. I think the biggest disappointment is that it received so much hype because the director is a female of color and not because it was a great movie. I understand the importance of having more females in significant production roles and I just want to like a film because it moved me in some way, no matter who directed it.

2. Virginia Cavaliers losing in first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. UVA was the first ever number 1 seed to lose in the first round to a number 16 seed. Let’s give it up to the University of Maryland-Baltimore County Retrievers (yes, “retriever” as in the canine) for their historic upset. I filled out two brackets this year and I had UVA going all the way in one of them and Michigan going all the way in the other…sigh. Did anyone actually think UMBC toppling UVA was even possible? Maybe that one lady who used to live in Baltimore County with the UMBC crew neck sweatshirt thought so. Standing ovation to her and the Retrievers.

1. Condom snorting challenge. Teenagers and adult morons: can you please stop? So you unroll a condom, hold one nostril closed and then snort the condom through the other nostril until the other end comes out your mouth and then you pull it out your mouth. Sounds fucking ridiculous, right? That’s because it is. I can’t even believe that we have to warn these idiots about the danger of this. Survival of the fittest.


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